The Curse of Being Too Ambitious That Haunts Every Writer

I’m not yet sure where it will take me and how it will change my life.

The past few weeks have been quite different from how they used to be.

I used to wake up driven, excited, looking forward to my day, happy to solve new problems and take on new challenges. But in the past few weeks, I haven’t done much to accelerate my career or move towards where I want to be in the future.

You see, until October 2021, I had a freelance client who paid me pretty well for my articles. But then their funding was removed and they couldn’t afford my rates. So I had to let that gig go, cutting off about 30% of my monthly income.

NewsBreak, another platform I used to write on stopped their monthly base pay. That was another good portion of my monthly income cut off in an instant.

Both these things happened at similar times, like within two months of each other, and my monthly income was significantly impacted. This post is about how this uncertainty changed my life, and why I’m not immediately looking for new opportunities. I also talk about the curse of being too ambitious that possibly haunts every writer who dreams of building an online business someday soon.

If this were like the normal times, I would have looked for another client to help me supplement my income source to make up for all that I had lost. But right now, I’m just not feeling motivated enough to look for a new client.

At this point in my career, I’m not sure if I want to keep writing for someone else. I still have one freelance client with who I’ve been working for almost a year. I feel so involved in the company that I feel it’s my own, and I’d keep doing so for the foreseeable future. I also have my Medium earnings, and, combined with my freelance income, I’m not worried about my finances.

But every year in the last two months, I had a plan for the next year, as in what I aim to do, how I plan to go about it, and things like that.

But this year, I have nothing. I know I don’t want to keep writing for clients, but I don’t know what I’ll do instead.

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